Canadian Politics:
Conservative-speak can be confusing for the less practice ear. I know, I know, it sounds like English, but perhaps it is just a different dialect? And it just all sounds so good; surely fixing the deficit, creating jobs, and promoting freedom and democracy is a good thing?
To aid in translation of Conservative-speak, I thus present the Authoritative, Limited Edition, Conservative to English Dictionary, from Austerity to Zygote:
To aid in translation of Conservative-speak, I thus present the Authoritative, Limited Edition, Conservative to English Dictionary, from Austerity to Zygote:
| Conservative | English |
| Austerity | Cut programs that help poor people |
| Boost the Economy | Cut taxes for the rich |
| Create Jobs | Cut taxes for the rich |
| Defense | Bomb Muslims |
| End Big Government | Cut programs that help poor people / Cut taxes for rich people / gay people still can't have a family |
| Deficit Reduction | Cut programs that help poor people |
| Family Values | Gay people can't have a family |
| Fiscal Responsibility | Cut programs that help poor people |
| Fix Healthcare | Cut programs that help poor people |
| Freedom | Gay people can't have a family / Cut taxes for the rich |
| Free Markets | No taxes for the rich |
| Free Speech | Unlimited unpublished campaign donations for corporations |
| Libertarians | Right about cutting taxes for the rich and spending for poor people, but wrong about not bombing Muslims |
| Liberty | Gay people can't marry |
| Patriotism | Be happy bombing Muslims |
| Political Correctness | Not being allowed to say bigoted things |
| Promote Democracy | Bomb Muslims |
| Right to Work | People are not allowed to work in strong unions |
| Security | Bomb Muslims |
| Stimulus | Cut taxes for the rich |
| Support the troops | Be happy bombing Muslims |
| Terrorists | Muslims who should be bombed |
| Zygote | A living human being with more rights than gay people or Muslims |
Thoughts on this post? Comment below!
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1 comment:
You forgot that zygotes also have more rights than women.
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